January 9, 2011

Commitment Issues

So when I started this blog a few days ago, I made three posts in the first day....because I had ideas. And now I don't, and am therefore afraid that the novelty of having a blog will wear out quickly, as has been the case with every other hobby in my life. I start so many projects and never finish them. I think I have about 5 different scarves in my knitting basket that I started knitting and then never finished. In fact, I think I've done that so often, I've totally forgotten how end a scarf! Sigh. I think its partly my personality, in that I can be so impetuous and ambitious, but once something no longer seems exciting, or it gets hard, I drop it (like its hot). I also think that this came about as a result of the many extra-curricular activities that I plowed my way through as a child. Here's the list:

1.  Highland (Scottish) Dancing
2. Skating lessons
3. Piano lessons
4. Swimming lessons
5. Gymnastics
6. Awana's (kind of like girl guides)
7. Piano lessons (again)
8. Drama camp

All of these activities held my attention for about 2 months each, and then I would tell my mom I wanted to quit. I hated practicing for things or having to work hard at something (this is making me sound VERY lazy!). After awhile, when I would tell my mom that there was a new activity I wanted to sign up for, she refused because she said I would only quit after a short time. I'm sure I pouted, but it was very true. And sometimes the truth hurts.

Anyway, as an adult the goal is to try and actually stick to something, and I think I'm getting there. I've grown tired of moving apartments every year or so and having various jobs that I quit on a whim. I've gone back to school to pursue a practical and long-term career path. AND....wait for it....I'm in a committed relationship. I know. Shocking, coming from someone who for so long had serious committment issues....even towards her knitted scarves (damn those scarves!).

So, you may be wondering where this indepth and revealing look into my childhood and my inner-most subconcious, pyschological being, has come from. It's from starting this blog. Because the moment I made the first post, I committed to this thing, and I intend to stick with it. And hopefully along the way people will actually read it and maybe even appreciate it. And don't worry, I won't bore you with loooooong and verbose postings. Most likely this kind of novel-like post will only happen every once in awhile, and hopefully it will be of more interesting things like I've posted previously. But if anyone out there is reading this, please give me feedback and suggest ways that I can make this better/more interesting. I mean its not like my life resembles Sex and the City or anything.

Adios for now.

1 comment:

  1. As your mother I can concur first hand with the start and stop cycles we worked through, but there are a few things that you have never wavered on and remain committed to:
    your commitment to God
    your commitment to friendships
    your commitment to passionately stand up for those who are down-trodden
    Finally...your commitment to not giving up. It is evident in starting again and again and again.
    Keep writing from your heart.